i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
