I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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