Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
