I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Even my vagina gasped.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
