You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
