i just had sex bonerless
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
