I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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