it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
