Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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