It's just like the Real World with babies
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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