Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
