The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
