We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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