Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize
