i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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