before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
