What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
