She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
