That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
