Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Randomize
