If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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