Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I want to stick my p in your. b.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
