Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
