Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
