So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
