It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Hippo gnu deer
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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