Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize