just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
