Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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