girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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