no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
