one two three fourrrrnication!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
