I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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