we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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