I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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