If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
