We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
