I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
