so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
