i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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