I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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