Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think I sprained my soul last night
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
