no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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