shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
