? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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