if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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