This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so let's talk penis.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
