ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
