how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
should my penis look like a turkey
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
