bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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