Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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