i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
