Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
