I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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