Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
