Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
