Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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