If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
