did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
