Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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