I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
she looked like the before picture.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
