doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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